One year ago today, I said my marriage vows to Tosin Odesanya before God, family, and friends. I can't believe it has been a year already! It seems like a long time ago, but I still remember a lot of moments from our special day just like yesterday.
Some Of What I've Collected Along The Way:
I make my marriage what I want it to be. I learned that in order to have the type of marriage I want, I have to work for it. Yes, I've only been married for a year but that is something I caught on to very quickly. Even though hubby and I have similar values, we are still two different people with different backgrounds and there are certain things he does that I don't understand and vice versa. However, in moments when he has given me reason to raise an eyebrow, I have to make a conscious decision to use wisdom in my reaction. It that always easy? Absolutely not, but I am more than pleased with the results.
Pick my battles. This is as a result of my first lesson. When hubby and I first got married, I used to blow the smallest things out of proportion. Where they things he did that really upset me? Yes. But at the end of a big argument, most times, after evaluating what happened, I felt silly for reacting how I did. Most times, I would shake my head and call myself a drama queen. Clearly, there are things I don't want to brush over and want to make my opinion heard and known, but every disagreement must not turn into a war. Some days I'm good and others I'm not, and then I remember... Rome was not built in a day.
We are one spiritually but physically, we are two. I cannot expect hubby to act/think/react the way I do. Heck, what's the fun in that? Sometimes, I get frustrated when he doesn't see things the way I do though. I almost want to yell "agree with me!" like a little child. Lol. We we are all entitled to our own opinions and the beautiful thing about that, is that that's how we learn from each other, when we can see the other person's perspective.
He will always get the best of me, more than anyone in this world. Usually, it's the people we love the most that can really get to us. Reason? Simple! They know us best, so they know exactly what buttons to push. I'm guilty of it. I know what makes hubby happy, I know what makes him laugh, what makes him upset, what makes him stare.. and the list goes on. I've had days, I do things knowing what his reaction will be but that doesn't stop me. Same for him. Recently in an argument, I told him.. "You know what Tosin? Sometimes you really, really piss me off!" This dude looked at me, smiled, and said.. "You know what babe? You're going to be saying that for a very, very long time so get used to it." I couldn't even say anything after that.
God designed hubby. He knows a lot more than I ever will. When hubby and I had our marriage counseling, this was one of our lessons that stuck with me. We were taught that when you buy a product, whatever it is, when you have an issue with it, you go back to the manufacturer. You don't have a problem with your Ipad and take it to a car dealership right? What help will they give? I take every matter about hubby before God, and watch Him answer my prayers. It works!
Handle every situation in the present. If he makes me upset, I talk about it in that moment. Even if we both have to walk away and cool off, we still address it. Also, if he does something for me, I let him know in that moment how much I really appreciate it and him. We try not to let things fester, good or bad. Communication!
Hubby has my best interest at heart. If there's one thing I'm sure of without a shadow of doubt... This man loves me with every bit of him and shows it. I can tell that all he wants is the best for me. He wants me to be my best and reach my full potential. He is my biggest cheerleader and encourages me every step of the way. He listens to my dreams, even the ones I laugh at, and lets me know how much faith he has in me. When I want to give up, he's there pushing me to keep going. He knows that when I win, he wins.
Jesus at the center. Ultimately, to make this marriage last, we both realize we need God as our director. I've always wanted to be with a man that loved and served God with his whole heart. One thing I also always wanted in my home was for my husband and I to always pray together. I'll admit, when we first got married, I dropped the ball. Hubby would always be the one to hold my hands in the morning before he left for work and say a prayer. Sometimes I slept right through it. Shame. However, I quickly corrected that. We spoke about it and made a decision to pray together every night before going to bed. It gets hard... Mo throws us off schedule, we get caught up watching a show, there's work brought home from work, the list goes on. But! To the Glory of God, since we made that decision months ago, we've prayed just about every night ever since. We sing songs first, then pray. Hubby always has one particular song that is his anthem . I can't even think of the song right now, thank God! But most nights, I'm like can you please sing something else! Or he goes off singing a Yoruba(his language) song I have never heard. I mean no problem singing in Yoruba, but of all the ones I know that he could have picked! His eyes are closed and he's enjoying his song and mine are wide open staring at him trying to stop myself from sinning right before prayer. Lol. Or oooh, how about the days he thinks he is Michael from Boyz II Men and wants to sing in a deep bass voice! I just want to scream "WILL YOU STOOOOPPP!!!" at the top of my lungs. Drives me crazy! Lol. Some nights he says the prayer, some nights I do, and some nights we just throw out our prayer points and go at it together. Whenever Tosin prays, it almost never fails, I fall in love with him over and over again. Just something about his passion!
So! To the man of my dreams, my best friend, my lover, my baby daddy, my confidant, my head, my rock, my endless love, the only man who has ever really had my heart... I love you more and more each day and with great anticipation, I look forward to the wonderful journey that lays ahead that God has purposefully designed for us.
Happy First Anniversary to Us!
Check out pictures from our wedding day
here.
