The Struggle

It’s August 1st. In three days, my daughter will be 2 months old. Yay! I can’t believe how fast she is growing, but that is a story for another day. See, I have always been a “skinny” girl. Weight has never been an issue for me until now.  The highest number I ever saw on a scale pre-pregnancy was 135. Now that number seems almost unreachable. Right before I got pregnant, I weighed 128lbs and over the course of my pregnancy, I gained 45lbs putting me right at 173lbs (Good lawd!). Even though I was bigger, a lot of people could not tell, and no one believed me when I told them how much weight I had gained because it seemed like I carried it all in my belly. I on the other hand… ha! I could feel the increase ALL over me! My face was bigger and if anyone said otherwise, I knew they were just trying to be nice. My breasts were watermelons! I’m exaggerating, maybe cantaloupes! Okay, maybe two grapefruits joined together for each boob. The rest of my body expanded as well because after a while, I could not wear my wedding ring and none of my shoes fit. I tried to comfort myself the entire time because I just knew the weight would come off quick once I had the baby. “I mean Lauret… How can a whole you not bounce back?” Thoughts in my head, I kid you not.

After I had my daughter, I lost the weight pretty quickly! I was shocked. Before the end of the first month I was down to 145lbs. I had dropped 28lbs without any issues! This made me feel too good and I just knew it was only a matter of time. Not so much. Close to a month later, I have not moved from that mark! I get on the scale almost every morning and this is all I see… 144, 146.5, 143.4, 144.1… I mean gahhh! It makes me want to pull my hair! Can I atleast go below 140?! Is this too much to ask? I decided that I would begin working out. Btw I HATE exercising! Ever since I made that decision, I’ve worked out once. Besthalf has a cardio bike and I biked 6.1 miles. What an accomplishment! It has been a week since I did that and it has been so hard to keep up. I try to make myself feel better by doing sit-ups here and there. I’ve also been doing lots of stretching. 

Unfortunately, I’m not helping myself much. I all of a sudden have cravings for sweet drinks and soda. Anything but water. I had a Sprite today and hours later, I’m still asking myself why I had to indulge. I might be a little hard on myself considering I’m only 2 months postpartum. Honestly, I don’t mind keeping a bit of the extra weight, BUT sweet Jesus, I DON’T WANT A POUCH!!!

SN- Currently searching for ab workout plans!!!

The body I want back...

One month before delivery...

Why Me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? My guess is you may have at some point in your life. I truly can't put into words how blessed I believe I am. I do not deserve the grace God has shown me, but His hands have been on my life. On nights like tonight, I truly thank God that He is not like man. I thank him that He does not pay me evil for evil. However, I am forced to think of others who are not as fortunate as I am. Those that are unable to enjoy a good life and those that have had their life snatched away from them. "Bad people" are not the only ones that die. There are devout Christians that are no more. Nonetheless, I am thankful to God for keeping me. I know it's for a purpose and my goal is to figure it out as soon as possible and so help me God.

This is not a very long post. It is 12:22a.m. I am actually about to call it a night, but those were thoughts running through my head. To say I am intrigued by God's Grace would be a major understatement.

Hello World!

I began blogging last year and was able to successfully put up about 9 posts. I know... Check that blog out here. Anyways, I quickly realized blogging was not an easy task as far as the dedication it required and I didn't get far as you can see. Well, so much has happened in my life since then, and I've been thinking about giving blogging another try. This time around, I will like to welcome you into my world. If I can evoke an emotion (hopefully positive), if something you read changes your day or life for the better, then this blog has served its purpose. With that said, welcome to my world. 

This is the e-diary of Mrs.O!